Longsuffering Wife?

Within the abundance of words spoken and written about the disgraced (and now ex-) Governor of New York, there were a couple observations I found particularly astute. Given the ordinary drone of an [em]pathetic MSM ("it's only sex," "two consenting adults," etc. ad nauseum), it was especially heartening to read Jan LaRue on TownHall: Stand by your Womanizer. Finally! Someone who gets it.

We've seen this paint-by-number canvas in both political and religious mea culpas. Maybe it's part of the Faustian bargain these couples are willing to make to maintain their grasp of power, but is the moment of confession really a marital moment? Shouldn't this man — who has already kicked his wife in the teeth via his bad behavior — be made to stand alone and endure the shame of his own actions?! Why is she making it so cushy for him?

Don't get me wrong. I'm a strong proponent of forgiveness and restoration, but it seems to me easy forgiveness glosses over the transgression and often precurses further, more egregious transgressions.

Recall the scene in Gone With the Wind where Scarlett, clad appropriately in a revealing but stunning red frock Rhett has chosen for her to wear, and Rhett in white-tie-and-tails stand at Melanie's front door, late arrivers for Ashley's "surprise" birthday party. As the door opens, Rhett doffs his top hat and says, "Good night, Scarlett."

Naturally, she entreats him not to leave, but Rhett tells her: "You go into the arena alone. The lions are hungry ..." Rhett exits, intending to give Melanie "the satisfaction of publicly ordering you out of her house."

It's perfect, of course. Yet Melanie, a picture of grace and unconditional loving friendship, hardly misses a beat in assuring Scarlett is warmly received into her home. No recriminations, not even the hint of hostility.

A couple scenes later, Scarlett (now at home) descends the staircase in search of liquid comfort, and unexpectedly finds Rhett, drunk and belligerent. He pours brandy into a glass for her and roughly insists she stay seated. He says: "So she stood by you. How does it feel to have the woman you've wronged cloak your sins for you?"

There's a time for Melanie-like forgiveness, but Rhett Butler's approach, insisting Scarlett "face the music" without him there as a buffer, is highly appropriate and long overdue in these public confessions. I hope I'll live long enough to witness a self-respecting wife who refuses to play into this charade of the longsuffering wife. It's not forgiveness. It's degrading.