Now that Mitt has -- at least temporarily -- followed Fred into the glorious sunset of their respective campaigns and I'm consoling myself with lots of pre-Valentine's chocolate, I realize I am way overdue blogging on what has been the most important Republican primary in a very long time. Frankly, I don't have the strength to catch up. Instead, I'm going to press on to the general election.
Now that McCain is the presumptive nominee in the minds of the voters, rather than just the adoring media, I've been doing a substantial amount of head-scratching. Does anyone remember who this guy is?
Four years ago, if McCain's name came up, there were only two questions: "Will McCain become John Kerry's running mate?" or "Will he pull a 'Jim Jeffords' and go Independent?"
That's right. John F-ing Kerry. In case you've forgotten (along with the rest of the Democrat party) he was
their nominee in 2004.
And his sometime bedfellow is now
our presumptive nominee. McCain, the man who, if elected, will lead his party into the next glorious era of Republican political achievement, surpassed only by the Reagan Revolution.
Hmmmm. Not so much.
There are a lot of words suitable to describe John McCain: establishment, entitled, opportunistic, flip-flopping, disengaged, old and crabby. Conservative is not one of them. I don't think Republican even qualifies.
The irony is that in order to secure the nom, McCain has done nothing if not swing to the right. For all that he critiques Samuel Alito for "wearing his conservatism on his sleeve," McCain has done everything in his power to get the name of Alito's tailor. He's successfully out-righted Guiliani, Thompson and Romney. The only reason he has yet to be pegged as more conservative than Mike Huckabee is because of that whole "Jesus and Satan are brothers" thing.
Another week of campaigning and I'm certain we'll see Huckabee absolve himself of that Jesus & Satan kerfuffle when he finalizes his own deal with the devil -- in other words, sliding into that VP spot McCain has been keeping warm for him.
If anyone wants to take bets on how long before McCain's Conservative excursion train derails, I'm running a pool. The minute the GOP field has cleared, we're going to see McCain return to his moderate/independent (i.e. liberal) roots and forget he ever mentioned Reagan, strict contructionism, or securing the borders first. I know amnesiac two-year-olds with longer institutional memory than this guy.
Which brings me to Ann Coulter. AKA: Hillary's newest celebrity endorsement.
(SIDEBAR: Do you think Bill has asked Hill's campaign staff to make room on his schedule for some face time with Ann yet?)
The very notion of voting for Hillary has me in cold sweats. Still, the pig's ear that would be the McCain presidency leaves me asking myself: "Who do I want to be held accountable for four years of disastrous liberal occupation of the Oval Office? A liberal Democrat or a liberal Republican?"
Ann Coulter has obviously taken
her position on this. El Rushbo himself, though he has yet to outline his strategy publically, has at least decried the lack of leverage a Republican Senate and House would have against a president of their own party.
These are compelling arguments, people. After all, it takes the Congress
and the President to complete the legislative process. Making sure we have legislators in Washington in position to put up a fight for Conservatism has me tempted to begin looking for a pharmacy with some
OxyClinton left in stock.
Charles Krauthammer laid it out straight, calling the Hillary campaign for the presidency "one giant alimony payment." But even though I agree that a second Clinton presidency would be disastrous, I'm not blind to the seductive pull of liberals giving the nation a violent shove to the right by virtue of nothing more than their rank incompetence to actually solve any problem. (Oh, except that little "problem" of Americans deciding what to do with their own money. They've had that one in the bag for decades.)
If I don't do a Mitt write-in or just stay at home waiting for my healthcare to arrive, I might have no other choice but to become a Coulter Democrat.
Since it only takes nine months for a human embryo -- sorry, "two-celled blob of useless tissue better known as 'a choice'" -- to develop into a full-term baby -- sorry, "a planned and wanted child" -- maybe it will be sufficient time for me to acclimatise myself to this heinous exercise of either-or.
In the meantime, I'll be waiting for the Ann Coulter and William Jefferson Clinton Campaign Tour: "Little Black Dress Express."
uced her as his VP choice, tears came to my eyes and I experienced a surprisingly energized hope for conservative principles.
